I get so many female clients who come to me operating under the assumption that they are at a dating disadvantage because of their age. They tell me how frustrated they are trying to date in the "over 35" age group.

Let me tell you something. They could not be more wrong. The biggest problem these available women have is not their age but their mindset. There are tons of potential mates out there for you to meet.

Here are five essential steps for meeting more single men if you are over 35:

1. If you believe it, then it's true. Do you remember the famous Henry Ford quote "Whether you think you can, or that you can't, you are usually right?" I have found that you can meet great singles anywhere and at any age. It's all about having an abundance mindset. So many people listen to their friends or the monkey chatter in their own head telling them all the obstacles that stand in their way as a middle-aged woman. Many times this notion of difficulty comes from other single friends.

I don't listen to friends like this, because I find that many singles have attitudes that are just ridiculous. They love to buy into the negative instead of the positive. What happens is that people will manifest the things on which they focus. If women are focusing on disappointment, scarcity, and failure in their dating life, then that's what they are going to experience. I have found that you can always find someone who will agree with you when you are looking for confirmation about something negative, because most people are negative. Most people love to commiserate, and most people really like having others commiserate with them. So the first thing you need to do is to change your mindset.

2. Take a good look at yourself. I want to give you a little bit of a wake-up call. I want to challenge you to look deep inside your life. If you have had trouble meeting men, ask yourself if you've really done enough on your part to meet them.

Like I tell singles of any age, your perfect person is not just going to show up at your doorstep one day with flowers and a bottle of wine in hand. You need to be proactive. So I want you to ask yourself if you've done enough. Have you really networked as much as you can? Have you joined Yahoo! Personals, written a really good profile, and started contacting some single men online? Have you looked into events and activities going on in your area?

3. Do your research. Take the time to do some research and find out what events are happening near you. Choose activities that are interesting to YOU. Don't go to events or classes that you have no personal interest in just because you think there might be men there. You'll have more fun, and be more successful at meeting people, when you are enjoying your life and creating good energy. At the same time, though, be open to lots of possibilities.

Try finding out about happy hours for people in their 40s. Consider speed dating events. Have lunch in areas where there are hospitals so you can meet doctors. Go where lawyers are hanging out at lunchtime or during happy hour. Have you thought about visiting car dealerships? Many of the high-end ones actually have parties. There are fundraising events, and networking events like Toastmasters. Think outside the box and get researching.

4. Make a list. I'm challenging you right now to put together a list. Find at least 10 places you can go or 10 things you can do in your town (other than what I've suggested). I had a client who went to a hospital for lunch every day because she wanted to meet a doctor. Sure enough, after two and a half months she did meet a doctor. It's all about pursuing what you want and taking the steps to get it.

5. Get out there! The only thing left to do is to actually get yourself out of the house and start meeting people. Life is in the field. Life is about enjoying the moment. Nothing happens for those who sit and wait. Challenge yourself to take action every day. You won't believe what is waiting out there for you!